Five Pillars Of The Spiritual Life by Fr. Robert J. Spitzer

Author:Fr. Robert J. Spitzer [Spitzer, Fr. Robert J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Spiritual & Religion
ISBN: 9781586172015
Publisher: Ignatius Press
Published: 2009-07-22T05:00:00+00:00

B. Affective Desolation

Affective desolation is a general sense of not being at home in the totality; of being out of kilter with the totality; of being in a cosmic darkness (without warmth); of being alone. These combined feelings can frequently lead to confusion, alienation, and even despondency.

Why would God allow desolation to happen? If we live in ordinary consolation, why would He allow it to cease? Three reasons have typically been given for this by spiritual writers: (1) desolation from lack of conversion, (2) a signal for deeper conversion, and (3) the desert experience.

1. Desolation from Lack of Conversion. As noted in chapter 1, section 4, people who are living predominately for Level 1 or Level 2 experience a series of challenges. They feel emptiness or lack of efficacy arising out of living for themselves alone (ego-satisfaction or comparative advantage). They also feel jealousy, fear of failure, ego-sensitivity, blame, contempt, resentment at not being admired by “inferiors”, anxiety about not progressing enough (or others progressing more than they), self-pity, and extreme anxiety about being exposed as weak or imperfect. Though Level 1 and Level 2 can bring considerable gratification and excitement, the above negative emotions frequently follow in their wake and can intensify with the passage of time.

These negative emotions could be viewed as desolation—indeed, they are; but they do not have a divine origin, for they are self-induced through choices or failure to make a choice beyond Level 1 or Level 2 default drives. For Saint Ignatius, these desolations will persist until the individual moves to what I term Level 3 and ultimately to Level 4. When conversion (or even deepened conversion) takes place, many individuals experience almost immediate relief from an oppressively negative psychic condition and gain a terrific creative spiritual energy frequently referred to as “first fervor”. Thus, one might say that the solution to Level 1 or Level 2 desolation is initial conversion to God (belief in or trust in God sufficient to begin the journey of faith).

2. A Signal for Deeper Conversion. As by now may be evident, those who have made an initial conversion will probably not have attained the fullness of the Beatitudes. Initial conversion puts us on the road, but it does not get us to the goal. Thus, our conversion (metanoia) must be deepened throughout our spiritual journey. Sometimes the impetus for this deepened conversion takes place out of natural suffering in our lives. For example, something goes terribly wrong, and I find myself having to deepen my faith and live the Beatitudes more profoundly in order to emerge from this bad situation.

Sometimes desolation can emerge from a natural feeling of emptiness. It could arise out of failure to fulfill my higher desires and purpose. I might be living Level 3 very superficially or living Level 4 without any attendance to the Beatitudes or the contemplative life. The emptiness I feel is a natural call to move higher or more deeply into Level 3 or Level 4.

Sometimes, however, the move to deeper conversion does not arise out of natural suffering or emptiness.

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